You may be thinking to yourself, what in the world does Channing Tatum and a bag of potatoes have in common? Well my bow ties, I’m with you on this one. In fact, I was just pondering this highly intelligent and complex question myself. How and when did these two seemingly and massively unrelated subjects end up in the same breath? I mean, there are a plethora of items in this world (and the universe and beyond) that go together more than an ex-stripper and some starch. Take for instance, lambs = Mariah Carey. Hookers = Charlie Sheen. A brick of cocaine = Charlie Sheen (allegedly). Offering to pay rent to a troubled starlet = Charlie Sheen yet again!
Before we begin, I must clarify something… Channing Tatum? Tatum Channing? Wait…Channing Tatum?!? For the love of God, what is this man’s name?!?!?! And this brings up a very important point: Never, under any circumstances, trust a person whose given name and surname can be interchanged willy-nilly and still sound like a legit name no matter which order you put the names in. Yep, they can’t be trusted. Anyway, these two entities (Mr. Channing Tatum/Tatum Channing and bag of potatoes) are in fact related (VERY RELATED)… apparently, and I’ll tell you why courtesy of my co-worker. Not long ago a certain one Mr. Channing Tatum/Tatum Channing graced the cover of people magazine which arrogantly declared him the “Sexiest Man Alive” blah-blah-blah and as a result, eyeballs everywhere were forced to stare at his mugshot while innocently waiting to pay for produce goods at the neighborhood grocery store. The subject of Mr. Tatum Channing/Channing Tatum is a very interesting one indeed. From my thorough research, I’ve come to the conclusion that most bow ties view this gentleman as 1 of 2 things: (1) Smoking, panty/jockstrap dropping sizzling HOT and (2) well…blah. Moreover, those that have these opinions hold them to the EXTREME! Those who love him, LOVE HIM! Those that don’t, DESPISE HIM! But then you have my co-worker, who we’ll place in the latter group of believers. He took it one step further. In voicing his displeasure at the fact that Mr. Channing Tatum/Tatum Channing was crowned “Sexiest Man Alive”, he then decreed, “Ugh! How’d he get on there, he looks like a bag of potatoes!” A bag of potatoes. A bag… of… potatoes. A BAG…. of POTATOES!?!?!? Let’s let that simmer for a few moments shall we? Hmmm, that is an interesting observation. There is only one way to solve this problem… let’s have a good, long, hard look at Mr. Channing Tatum/Tatum Channing’s fashion choices! 🙂
I must say, I really have no definitive feelings about Mr. Channing Tatum (?). I think he looks good in most of his ensembles. He looks nice… and that’s pretty much where it ends. Ya know, after examining the fashion styles of numerous male celebrities, I have surmised that there are just some men who are tailor made to look absolutely flawless in a suit (I.e. David Beckham, Michael B. Jordan, Ryan Gosling and newbie Nick Jonas even). These guys put on a suit and there is a definite “WOW” factor there. Mr. Tatum/Channing’s suits are good enough, but he’s still missing that spark, right? No? Maybe? I dunno. He’s fashion sense can tend to get a little bland, boring and dull, kind of like a bag of… potatoes? Whoa, maybe my co-worker was on to something? Anyway, this is all kind of surprising right? He should look better. We want him to look better, but something to me seems like its missing. What do you think bow ties? Am I crazy? Do I need my eyeballs checked? Or is it just one of those things where everybody loves it but you hate it. You know what I mean… everybody has that list. That list of things you hate, but the whole world seems to love. Like, for instance, singer Adele (or as I like to call her, Adalay). Everybody loves her, I don’t. Or, the movie Frozen… everybody loved that! I thought it was just… good (Beauty and the Beast it IS NOT!). So maybe this Channing Tatum/Tatum Channing situation belongs on that list. Have a look below at the Magic Mike star and decide for yourself!
(images: Elizabeth Goodenough/Everett Collection, 2014 Getty Images Dimitrios Kambouris, internet)
What do you think? Love my choices? Hate them? If you have a butthole then you have an opinion…and now would be a good time to share it! Comment below (but please be respectful).