Category Archives: Off The Runway: Fashion in real time

Sure clothes look great on the runway with gorgeous models and a lot of smoking mirrors. But, how do they look in real life…and on some of your favorite celebs?

The Nightmare Returns: The 47th Annual Golden Globe Awards 2017

Oh, my bowties. I had this terrible, horrible, God awful dream where I was in this strange room that consisted of a stage and circular tables with beautiful china and luxurious linens.  However, at each one of these gorgeous tables sat these frightfully, fugly people that were far too skinny with heads too big for their bodies and who obviously had no clue what sunlight was!  Even scarier still, was the hideous fashions they were sporting.  Only, nobody else thought their clothing was disgusting.  In fact, everyone thought their clothing was.. amazing!?! And worse yet, everyone seemed to be under the spell impression that these average lookin’ mofos were actually… dare I say it… beautiful.. and… wait for it… talented. I know! Try and stay with me bowties for things only go downhill from here.  I began to panic. Why can’t anyone see the disasters that I see?  What happened to all common sense?!? Out of the corner of my eye, I see a magazine.  I quickly grab it only to find page after page desperately trying to brainwash me into praising, fawning, and glorifying these same dreadful beings and heralding them as the second coming of the Messiah!

No, no, no! The walls, stage, and tables were closing in on me now. There was nowhere to run.  I needed relief.  I ran to the telly (yes, telly. Hey, its my dream and yes, there is a TV) only to find that every single channel was devoted to hours of rhetoric that was trying to convince me that these “actors” were genuinely talented and the most beautiful creatures on Earth who should be worshiped till no end.. like some sadistic cult!  The agony. The horror. The fear.  Well, needless to say, I thankfully awoke from my nightmare in a cold and unforgiving sweat.  I leaped out of bed and turned on the television.. and… There. It. Was.  It wasn’t just some horrible dream. Nope. It was a nightmare come to life. It was, the 2017 Golden Globe Awards!

Well my bowties, here we are again at the start of yet another awards season.  And as expected the 2017 Golden Globes kicked off this gruesome, gory, ultra-violent slugfest of a battle between award shows all vying to kick the living daylights out of the Academy Awards and take top prize as the premier  awards show with the best fashion.  That’s right.  Every year like clockwork, these award shows compete to be the HBIC of presenting  the best dressed group of overhyped and over dramatic people who insist on continually referring to themselves as “artists” and “thespians”.  Oh, and then there is some kind of statue thingy or prize of some sort… something that they get or whatever.  But… THAT IS ENTIRELY BESIDES THE POINT!  What really matters, what really speaks to people all across our great Earth are not these films with average looking people who can read words off some piece of paper and then remember what those words are and then repeat them verbatim (sometimes with actual emotion), but what these people are W-E-A-R-I-N-G!!!  Listen, good fashion will change your life. Trust.  However, year after year, our eyeballs are forced to gaze upon these sunshine shunning, mediocre, tinseltown minions who insist on talking… and talking… and talking.. and talking about God knows what.  Whew! As I have said before and will say again, when getting a statue thingy, all that needs to be accomplished is a walk to the stage for a quick (and I do mean real quick) photo opp. then off the stage you go in a matter of seconds.  That way, we can all see what’s really important (i.e. what clothes you have on) and better yet, we don’t have to hear anyone speak.  That’s a win-win for all of us!

Speaking of fashion, there was a lot of it, yes?  Um… albeit, not all entirely good. But, but.. during this nightmare come to life there were some glimpses of hope in the form of fashion that didn’t completely ruin the retinas in our eyeballs.  Yes, there were black tuxedos, midnight blue tuxedos, blue tuxedos, white dinner jackets, velvet dinner jackets, textured dinner jackets.. and tuxedos, and double-breasted jacket goodness.  And luckily for you, I have spent too much time scouring the all over to place just to bring them to you! So, as you can see, all was not lost.

Alright my bowties, clutch your pearls and take a deep. long breath cause we are going down.  Deep down into the darkest crevasses of your unconscious mind.  Places that even Freddy Krueger himself said a “hell to the no” to.  That’s right. The nightmare has returned. It’s the 47th Annual Golden Globe Awards, dare to scream!

Oh, and one more thing… for the 1 and 3/4 of you that actually read this blog and who may happen to be wondering where the hell I’ve been for like the last… well, year LOL,  I’ll tell you.  I’m a full-time graduate student now going for my 2nd mater’s degree and also working full-time which means… I have no life whatsoever and practically no time.  Last year pretty much almost killed me, but now I think I might have a schedule down where I can actually update this blog, more than once a year ha! Okay, okay. On to the men…

Mr. Chris Pine is looking pretty dapper in my signature double-breasted tuxedo by Giorgio Armani

2017-golden-globe-awards-chris-pine

Mr. Eddie Redmayne is back and is still looking quite suave

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Fashion designer turned Hollywood director, Mr. Tom Ford doesn’t disappoint

2017-golden-globe-awards-tom-ford

While his um… *cough, cough… relationship with Ms. Taytay Swifty-swift was uh.. rather swift, the same cannot be said for Mr. Tom Hiddleston’s choice of timeless fashion

2017-golden-globe-awards-tom-hiddleston

Mr. Ryan Gosling has certainly been busy with promoting his new singing and dancing movie ‘La La Land” and preparing for another lil baby.. awwww. Let’s hope it looks as good as Mr. Gosling or Rachel Evans Wood does in a tuxedo

2017-golden-globe-awards-ryan-gosling

Mr. Jeremy Renner in BOSS

2017-golden-globe-awards-jeremy-renner

Mr. Matt Bomer

Image Source: Getty / Venturelli

Image Source: Getty / Venturelli

Mt. Christian Slater in Giorgio Armani

2017-golden-globe-awards-christian-slater

Mr. Milo Ventimiglia

2017-golden-globe-awards-milo-ventimiglia

Mr. Josh Henderson

2017-golden-globe-awards-josh-henderson

Mr. Sterling K. Brown

Image Source: Getty / Venturelli

2017-golden-globe-awards-sterling-k-brown-solo

Mr. Rami Malek

2017-golden-globe-awards-rami-malek

Mr. Ross Matthews

Steve Granitz/WireImage

Steve Granitz/WireImage

Mr. Riz Ahmed

2017-golden-globe-awards-riz-ahmed

Mr. Joel Edgerton in Brunello Cucinelli

2017-golden-globe-awards-joel-edgerton

Mr. AJ Gibson

2017-golden-globe-awards-aj-gibson

Mr. Mel Gibson, what do we think bowties?

2017-golden-globe-awards-mel-gibson

Mr. Chris Hemsworth

2017-golden-globe-awards-chris-hemsworth

Mr. Matt Damon. Hmmm… bowties?

2017-golden-globe-awards-matt-damon

Mr. Collin Ferrell

2017-golden-globe-awards-collin-ferrell

Mr. Andrew Garfield

2017-golden-globe-awards-andrew-garfield

Mr. Casey Affleck

2017-golden-globe-awards-casey-affleck

Mr. Dev Patel in Burberry

2017-golden-globe-awards-dev-patel

Mr. John Legend

2017-golden-globe-awards-john-legend

Mr. Luke Bracey

2017-golden-globe-awards-luke-bracey

Mr. Denzel Washington.. those shoes tho…

2017-golden-globe-awards-denzel-washington

Mr. Michael Keaton

2017-golden-globe-awards-michael-keaton

Mr. Warren Beatty

2017-golden-globe-awards-warren-beatty

Mr. Mahershala Ali

2017-golden-globe-awards-mahershala-ali

Mr. David Schwimmer… looking rather business like… right? What do we think bowties?

2017-golden-globe-awards-david-schwimmer

Mr. Matt Duffer and Mr. Ross Duffer both in Burberry. TWINNING!

2017-golden-globe-awards-matt-duffer-ross-duffer

Mr. Jonah Hill in Prada… eh? I don’t know. Bowties?

2017-golden-globe-awards-jonah-hill

Mr. J. J. Abrams

2017-golden-globe-awards-j-j-abrams

Mr. Jeffrey Dean Morgan.. without the bat

2017-golden-globe-awards-jeffrey-dean-morgan

 

Mr. Cuba Gooding Jr.  Ok that jacket is entirely way too small…*sigh* Otherwise…

2017-golden-globe-awards-cuba-gooding-jr

Mr. Ryan Reynolds

2017-golden-globe-awards-ryan-reynolds

Mr. Caleb McLaughlin, Mr. Finn Wolfhard, Mr. Noah Schnapp,  & Mr. Gaten Matarazzo. These little dudes are looking suave. Good job and A+

2017-golden-globe-awards-caleb-mclaughlin-finn-wolfhard-noah-schnapp-gaten-matarazzo

Mr. Justin Timberlake in Tom Ford  2017-golden-globe-awards-justin-timberlake-solo

2017-golden-globe-awards-justin-timberlake

Mr. Trevante Rhodes

2017-golden-globe-awards-trevante-rhodes

Mr. Benjamin Millepied

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Mr. John Travolta… looking better than I’ve seen in years. What do you think bowties?

2017-golden-globe-awards-john-travolta

Mr. Sam Taylor-Johnson

2017-golden-globe-awards-sam-taylor-johnson

Mr. Nikolaj Costner Waldau

Image Source: Getty / Venturelli

Image Source: Getty / Venturelli

(images, Kevin Winter/Getty Images, Frazer Harrison/Getty Images, Venturelli WireImages, Jordan Strauss/Invision, Getty Images)

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What do you think? Love my choices? Hate them? If you have a butthole then you have an opinion…and now would be a good time to share it! Comment below (but please be respectful).

And so it begins… The 2016 Golden Globes Best Dressed Men!

My, my, my… it’s definitely been quite the busy time in the fashion world the past couple of days.  Why you might ask?  Well, I’ll tell you, it’s because the single most important life-changing series of events commenced last week:  Awards Show Season!!!! Ah yes, the time has come.  After months and months of preparation and hard work, the battle of awards shows has finally arrived.  Evil, manipulative,  and deceitful  plans of nominees have been written down on paper, memorized, eaten and swallowed; campaign managers and top glam squad experts have been hauled in and are working countless hours to fool the general public by transforming ugly and overhyped actors into overhyped but seemingly beautiful actors! However,  and most importantly, fashion stylists have been praying to the Fashion Gods for miracles as they starve, stuff, cram, nip, tuck, tape and slap their clients into ridiculously expensive (and many times hideous) fashion ensembles for the all too important red carpet. And let me tell you bow ties, the red carpet is not for the fashion weak. No it is not! I will have you know that ENIRE Hollywood and music careers have been made and broken; have started and ended, with the red carpet. It’s ugly, competitive, but essential to conquer if one expects to have any sort of relevancy.

At the same time, the award shows themselves are in competition to have the honor as the single awards show with the BEST fashion. Last year, it was not pretty and physical violence did occur. But despite it all, the granddaddy of all award shows, The Oscars, proved to be no match for the other shows and slayed the competition.

So here we are bow ties, the stage has been set for an all out awards show battle and drama has already started. Last Wednesday, the People’s Choice Awards (PCA) officially kicked off the Awards show season…  with an absolutely  dismal showing. Oh…it was not good bow ties. So bad in fact that I decided to skip the review of that show all together and review the Golden Globes first (look for my review on the PCAs later)! I know. Anyway, that should come as no surprise as the PCAs have traditionally lacked the fashion competiveness to be grouped in the same league as the Golden Globes or SAG awards etc. The Golden Globes understands this concept and took full advantage. Although the PCAs kick off award show season, it is the Golden Globes which gives us our first “credible” awards show. Actors nominated for the Golden Globes are validated as true thespians that contribute positively to their craft and the overall art of acting… or something. It’s true. Really. In fact, the Golden Globes gives the public at large its first glimpse of A-list celebrities coming out of fashion hibernation and into the front of our eyeballs for the first time (that may NOT be such a great thing if they look a hot mess as our eyeballs will be forced look upon them for quite some time).

Yes bow ties, stock up on bottle water, replenish your batteries and make sure you have plenty of canned foods and warm blankets on hand, the epic battle of award show fashion has begun! It’s the 2016 Golden Globes Best Dressed Men! Enjoy 🙂

Mr. Will Smith – Whew! Where on Earth has Mr. Smith been?!? Although its hard to fathom due to all the  TMI articles we’ve had to endure going viral (thanks to Mrs. Smith) and their polarizing off-spring, spotting Mr. Smith in the flesh has been near impossible…until The Golden Globes. And Mr. Smith doesn’t disappoint. A+

2016 Golden Globes - Mr. Will Smith

Speaking of coming out of hibernation (fashion or any kind of hibernation really), Mr. Jennifer Lopez Casper Smart is looking fresh-faced and dapper… and so is Ms. Lopez!

2016 Golden Globes - Mr. Casper Smart (with Jennifer Lopez)

Mr. Michael B. Jordan is continuing his winning fashion streak with this 3-piece tuxedo. Best Dressed of the night.

2016 Golden Globes - Mr. Michael B. Jordan

Breaking News: Mr. DiCaprio actually won an award… at an award show… for his acting!! God bless this man who is soooooooo often overlooked for his incredible acting skills. Great talent and great fashion…see what happens when you look stylish… WINNING! Best Dressed.

2016 Golden Globes - Mr. Leonardo Di Caprio

Mr. Schreiber is looking very distinguished and classic. Best dressed!

2016 Golden Globes - Mr. Liev Schreiber

Also looking impeccable is last years reigning Hollywood golden boy, Mr. Eddie Redmayne in Gucci.

2016 Golden Globes - Mr. Eddie Redmayne

Not to be outdone is the always polished Mr. Michael Fassbender.

2016 Golden Globes - Mr. Michael Fassbender

Mr. David Oyelowo always opts for a twist on classic menswear and I think his risk paid off. A nice change if you are a gentlemen looking to go against the grain… BTW he’s wearing Dolce & Gabbana.

2016 Golden Globes - Mr. David Oyelowo

Also in Dolce & Gabbana is Mr. John Hamm. Nice.

2016 Golden Globes - Mr. Jon Hamm Gabbana)

Mr. Kevin Hart rebounds nicely from last years fashion mishap with this ensemble.

2016 Golden Globes - Mr. Kevin Hart

Mr. Sam Smith is looking fit and trim in this ensemble.

2016 Golden Globes - Mr. Sam Smith

Mr. Terrence Howard also opted not to go for the traditional black tuxedo… and with suave results. Lookin’ good Mr. Howard, butt wipes does a man good 🙂

2016 Golden Globes - Mr. Terrence Howard

Mr. Gerald Butler looks handsome in Ferragamo.

2016 Golden Globes - Mr. Gerald Butler

Mr. Rami Malek in Dior.

2016 Golden Globes - Mr. Rami Malek

Mr. Patrick Stewart is looking quite dapper!

2016 Golden Globes - Mr. Patrick Stewart

And so is Mr. Matt Damon (who also had to laugh at that joke made at BFF Ben Affleck’s expense…)

2016 Golden Globes - Mr. Matt Damon

Both Mr. Jamie Foxx and his daughter Corrinne looked amazing. Good fashion runs in the family.

2016 Golden Globes - Mr. Jamie Foxx and daughter Corrine Foxx

Funny Man Mr. Aziz Ansari decides to go full on stylish for his ensemble.

2016 Golden Globes - Mr. Aziz Ansari

Even though I think Mr. Bale looks suave, I’m afraid to say anything out of fear that he will go off on some yelling tirade… and we can’t have that when he’s looking so stylish, can we?

2016 Golden Globes - Mr. Christian Bale

The Rock “Dwayne” Johnson is looking superb.

2016 Golden Globes - Mr. Rock (Dwayne) Johnson

While E!’s “Fashion Police” may have had a few… uh… hiccups, the same can not be said for Mr. Brad Goreski.

2016 Golden Globes - Mr. Brad Goreski

Did you know that it has been confirmed that Mr. Jason Statham is engaged?! Yep, to a model. Hey, with Mr. DiCaprio newly single, you got to catch the models before he does. There will be others Mr. DiCaprio. Trust!

2016 Golden Globes - Mr. Jason Statham

Mr. Rob Lowe is looking incredible…

2016 Golden Globes - Mr. Rob Lowe

Hey, its Mr. Orlando Bloom…again…where have ya been?!

2016 Golden Globes - Mr. Orlando Bloom

Mr. Charlie Puth

2016 Golden Globes - Mr. Charlie Puth

Mr. Bryshere Y. Gray

2016 Golden Globes Mr. Bryshere Y. Gray

Mr. John Krasinski

2016 Golden Globes - Mr. John Kransinki

Mr. Sam Heughan

2016 Golden Globes - Mr. Sam Heughan

Mr. Wallstrom

2016 Golden Globes - Mr. Martin Wallström.

And last but certainly not least, Mr. Ryan Gosling and Mr. Brad Pitt

2016 Golden Globes - Mr. Ryan Gosling and Mr. Brad Pitt

(images: eonline, popsugar, vulture, dailymail.co.uk, Getty Images, Reuters, internet)

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What do you think? Love my choices? Hate them? If you have a butthole then you have an opinion…and now would be a good time to share it! Comment below (but please be respectful).

Awards Show Fashion Review: The 2015 MTV Video Music Awards – Best Dressed Men!

Well, bow ties, the 2015 MTV Video Music Awards occurred  a few weeks ago and if you were blissfully unaware that (A) MTV was even still on the air (let alone was still having this awards show) and (B) just flat out didn’t give a flying f**k  because you had more important  things  to do such as  defrosting your freezer or de-scaling  the kettle etc…  YOU. WERE. NOT. ALONE!  That’s right, the now washed-up awards show premiered to absolutely dismal ratings (the lowest in the awards shows history in fact) despite the appearance of some the music industries most over-hyped and popular recording artists performing some of the most over-hyped and mediocre smash hits of today.  Fun times!

Let’s see, Nicki Minaj was there performing some song or other in which she seemed to be more concerned with petting her bone straight and silky brand new weave than actually… uh… performing?  And then in the biggest surprise of the night (i.e. NOT!), Ms. Minaj was joined on stage by none other than Tay-tay Swifty for an ear numbing and slumber inducing rendition of “Bad Blood” that proved (1) that once and for all, their feud (schemed up by each of their publicists) was indeed over and (2) still didn’t distract Ms. Minaj from playing with her weave (and I don’t blame her… it was fabulous… T-R-U-T-H).  Oh, but I will say that for the split second that Ms. Minaj was not distracted by her fab weave, she was cussing out Miley “Please put your tongue back in your mouth” Cyrus… by name… on stage.  Yep.  Not at all staged… allegedly.  Anyway, some other foolery went down (the Biebs was boohooing over something I had no clue about, but I’m pretty sure I don’t care) and truth be told, I actually didn’t really watch it.  HA! I only caught snippets here and there and musical performances on YouTube… and yes, my eyeballs thanked me.  I will however, say that the only glimmer of hope for the awards show came in the form of Tori Kelly’s breakout and soulful performance of her song, “Should’ve Been Us”.  Quick! Somebody grab some of that hype form other non-deserving artists and throw some towards this chick’s direction, she could use some!

Last but not least, there was fashion.  Colorful fashion.  Whether it was your outfit, body or hair, Rainbow Bright definitely let her presence be known everywhere on the red carpet.  It’s the 2015 MTV Video Music Awards Best Dressed Men Most Interesting Looks… and some women too 🙂  Enjoy!

**Be sure to click on pictures for full size image!

Mr. John Legend is looking cool and casual. A+

2015 MTV Video Music Awards - Mr. John Legend

Mr. Nick Jonas. Uh-oh! I have to admit that this look didn’t necessarily do it for me. I know, I can’t believe I’m saying it either, but the head-to-toe leather look from Versace’s fall 2015 menswear line just isn’t my fave.  What do you think bow ties? And have a look at this outfit on the runway below.

2015 MTV Video Music Award - Mr. Nick Jonas

Versace 2015 Menswear Fall - Nick Jonas MTV

Mr. Brooklyn Beckham is definitely taking after his Fashion Icon father… and mother with this hip awards show look. Like father like son… indeed.

2015 MTV Video Music Award - Mr. Brooklyn Beckham

Mr. Justin Beiber’s Kate Plus 8 (but updated) do may be up for debate, but his whole look is every bit right! From the boots to the leather coat = style perfection.

2015 MTV Video Music Award - Mr. Justin Bieber

Mr. Jussie Smollett continues his trend of picking unique and funky looks for the red carpet… and with great success! Keep it up!

2015 MTV Video Music Award - Mr. Jussie Smollett

Speaking of um… unique looks, Mr. Michael Willett (don’t ask me who he is) continues this trend with his printed suit ensemble… which I actually like. Job well done… now, if only somebody could tell me who heck he is…anyone?

2015 MTV Video Music Award - Mr. Michael Willett

I’ve been guilty of having their hit songs, “Shut up and Dance” and “Aquaman”  on constant play on my phone and have yet to tire of them, but can the same be said of their suits splashed in neon paint colors? I kinda like them and the MTV awards show is the perfect place to wear this sort of thing…

2015 MTV Video Music Award - Walk the moon

Mr. Big Sean kept things cool and causal…and looked good while doing so.

WENN.com

WENN.com

 

Mr. Lewis Hamilton also decided to change things up a bit with this ensemble. What do we think bow ties? Hmmm…this is the 3rd time I’m seeing these brown sued boots. I’m spotting a trend…

2015 MTV Video Music Award Mr. Lewis Hamilton

Mr. Austin Butler kept it classic in this suit.

2015 MTV Video Music Award - Mr. Austin Butler

Mr. Gregg Sulkin

2015 MTV Video Music Award - Mr. Gregg Sulkin

Mr. Shawn Mendez

2015 MTV Video Music Award - Mr. Shawn Mendez

Mr. T-Pain

2015 MTV Video Music Award - Mr. T-Pain

Mr. Jeremy Scott… well, it is colorful.

2015 MTV Video Music Award - Mr. Jeremy Scott

And finally, Mr. Pharrell Williams.. in a lot of… jean material…

2015 MTV Video Music Award - Mr. Pharrell williams

And now the best dressed women….

Ms. Spears – I know some people thought she looked like she was about to perform at “Stars on Ice” but, I like it…

2015 MTV Video Music Award - Ms. Britney Spears

Ms. Lovato

2015 MTV Video Music Award - Ms. Demi Lovato

Ms. Jojo

2015 MTV Video Music Award - Ms. Jojo

Ms. Swift

2015 MTV Video Music Award - Ms. Taylor Swift

(images: Wenn, Getty, internet)

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What do you think? Love my choices? Hate them? If you have a butthole then you have an opinion…and now would be a good time to share it! Comment below (but please be respectful).

Fierce Fashion Face-Off: Special Labor Day Edition – Mr. Chris Evans v. Mr. Henry Cavill

C. Evans v. H. Cavill

Picture it.

You awaken groggy in a cold, dark, unfamiliar place.  Your body aches and your head is throbbing so hard, you’re certain it will explode at any moment.  You open your eyes, but your vision is blurry.  Sharp pains gnaw at you as you try and piece together the past events despite your fuzzy memory.  Then, it appears.  A tall dark silhouette at the edge of the room begins to slowly move towards you.  You try to scream but can’t as you now realize you’ve been bound and gagged. Gradually, the figure approaches, brandishing  a rusty chainsaw gleaming underneath a flickering and dimly lit lightbulb. The dark figure forcefully grabs the back of your head and quickly brings the rusty chainsaw to within an inch of your exposed neck.  What is a wee distressed bow tie to do?!?  You need help.  You need to be rescued.  And then… hope.  Suddenly, bursting through a brick wall, Captain America is on the scene while simultaneously, Superman barrels through the roof! Relief? Not quite my bow ties. For only a fate worse than death itself is being rescued by a superhero… with NO FASHION SENSE!

Ugh! Can you imagine?  The ridicule.  The embarrassment.  The stares.  No. It is far better to have the innards of your throat violently ripped out from you than to be rescued by a superhero in bad fashion.  How dreadful!  Well, my bow ties, it looks like there is a very important decision to make. Who should rescue us?  Is it the freshly revamped bodysuit of Superman aka Mr. Henry Cavill or is it the patriotic and rustic look of Captain America aka Mr. Chris Evans? A decision this important require us to dig further into the fashion arsenal of both gentlemen as only then can we truly find our answer. But first, however, we must  lean on the wisdom of a true fashion icon. Someone who has radically influenced and changed the landscape and thought of the fashion world…for the better! Yes, a person whose fashion sense, style and taste reigns supreme. Yep.  My bow ties, that person is one miss Anna Wintour Edna Mode!

edna_mode

Edna Mode is a fashion genius. The written form of her thoughts and words are so holy, they are now what make up the sacred Fashion Bible. When picking the best dressed superhero, follow her words… verbatim.

  1. On pathetic fashion designers trying to explain their sorry fashion to the masses:  Yes, words are useless! Gobble-gobble-gobble-gobble-gobble! Too much of it, darling, too much!
  2. On tacky superhero suits that are done in poor taste: This is a hobo suit, darling. You can’t be seen in this. I won’t allow it. Fifteen years ago, maybe, but now? Feh!
  3. Ms. Mode on designing a suit for a superhero  who comes to save you, but fails and as a result, you get cut up into tiny little pieces and flushed down the toilet: No? Well, he’ll look fabulous anyway.
  4. Explaining the practicality of her new suits: I cut it a little roomy for the free movement, the fabric is comfortable for sensitive skin…  And it can also withstand a temperature of over 1000 degrees. Completely bulletproof… And machine washable, darling. That’s a new feature. 
  5. Ms. Mode on the unique features that she included in her suits that are designed to withstand enormous friction without heating up or wearing out, a useful feature…  I finally created a sturdy material that can disappear completely”  And a suit that“can stretch as far as you can without injuring yourself, and still retain its shape. Virtually indestructible, yet it breathes like Egyptian cotton.”
  6. Ms. Mode on her upcoming superhero signature collection: It will be bold! Dramatic! Heroic!
  7. Ms. Mode on whether a superhero can save you from being stabbed to death by an evil villain: Well, I am sure I don’t know, darling. Luck favors the prepared. 
  8. And finally, Ms. Mode on capes: Metaman, express elevator! Dynaguy, snagged on takeoff! Splashdown, sucked into a vortex! [shouts] No capes!

Well, I guess we know who Edna favors in this fashion battle. But what do you bow ties think?Who do you want to rescue you in that dark, damp unfamiliar room with a crazed killer trying to saw your neck off? Take a look below, study the pictures and decide for yourself! Enjoy 🙂

**Click on photos for larger/full-size image!

Mr. Evans

Fashion Face-off - Mr. Chris Evans (1)

Mr. Cavill

Fashion Face-Off - Mr. Henry Cavill - Immortals Premiere

Mr. Evans

LOS ANGELES, CA - JANUARY 07: Actor Chris Evans poses in the press room at The 41st Annual People's Choice Awards at Nokia Theatre LA Live on January 7, 2015 in Los Angeles, California. (Photo by Jason Merritt/Getty Images)

LOS ANGELES, CA – JANUARY 07: Actor Chris Evans poses in the press room at The 41st Annual People’s Choice Awards at Nokia Theatre LA Live on January 7, 2015 in Los Angeles, California. (Photo by Jason Merritt/Getty Images)

Mr. Cavill

Fashion Face-Off - Mr.Henry Cavill - UNCLE Press

Mr. Evans

Fashion Face-Off - Mr. Chris Evans (2)

Mr. Cavill

Fashion Face-Off - Mr. Henry Cavill - Sydney

Mr. Evans

Fashion Face-Off - Chris Evans - LA Avengers Premiere

Chris Evans at the World Premiere of MARVEL'S THE AVENGERS, April 11, 2012 at the El Capitan Theatre, Hollywood, California. Photo Credit Sue Schneider_MGP Agency

Chris Evans at the World Premiere of MARVEL’S THE AVENGERS, April 11, 2012 at the El Capitan Theatre, Hollywood, California. Photo Credit Sue Schneider_MGP Agency

Mr. Cavill

Fashion Face-Off - Mr.Henry Cavill (1)

Mr. Evans

Fashion Face-Off - Mr. Chris Evans - Captain America Premiere (1)

Fashion Face-Off - Mr. Chris Evans - Captain America Premiere (2)

Mr. Cavill

Fashion Face-Off - Mr.Henry Cavill

Mr. Evans

Fashion Face-Off - Mr. Chris Evans (4)

Mr. Cavill

Fashion Face-Off - Mr.Henry Cavill (2)

Mr. Evans

Fashion Face-Off - Mr. Chris Evans - UK Premeire _ Captain America - The Winter Soldier

Mr. Cavill

Fashion Face-Off - Mr. Henry Cavill - Jimmy Fallon

Mr. Evans

2015 Oscars - Chris Evans

Mr. Cavill

Fashion Face-Off - Mr. Henry Cavill - UNCLE Premiere

Mr. Evans

Fashion Face-Off - Mr. Chris Evans - The Human Torch

Mr. Cavill

Fashion Face-Off - Mr.Henry Cavill - Superman (2)

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Mr. Evans

August 16, 2011: Chris Evans is photographed in character as, Captain America, on the film set of 'The Avengers today in Cleveland, Ohio.Credit: Swarbrick/Watts/INFphoto.com Ref.: infuspa-06/169|sp|

August 16, 2011: Chris Evans is photographed in character as, Captain America, on the film set of ‘The Avengers today in Cleveland, Ohio.Credit: Swarbrick/Watts/INFphoto.com Ref.: infuspa-06/169|sp|

Mr. Cavill

Fashion Face-Off - Mr. Henry Cavill - UNCLE (1) Premiere

Fashion Face-Off - Mr. Henry Cavill - -UNLCE SiriusXM

(Images: internet, http://www.henrycavill.org)

(Ref: Edna Mode Quotes courtesy of http://www.imdb.com/character/ch0003838/quotes)

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What do you think? Love my choices? Hate them? If you have a butthole then you have an opinion…and now would be a good time to share it! Comment below (but please be respectful).

Athletic Fashion: The 2015 ESPY Awards – Best Dressed Men… or something.

“Oh, I love seeing teachers outside of school.  It’s like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs”.  Lizzy Caplan’s character, Janis Ian in Mean Girls, perfectly summed up the awkwardness of seeing your teacher *gasp* outside of the classroom in “real life.”  But, I believe that same sentiment can also be applied to another group of people… athletes!  Think about it.  We’re used to seeing athletes in their team uniforms (with some better than others), but what kind of fashion sense do these sports stars have in their normal lives?  A bow tie would think that being cooped up in the same boring, stinky, sweaty, dull, un-imaginative uniform would cause a jock or two to definitely develop some need for or have  some “fashion” in their lives.  Unfortunately, our eyeballs don’t really have the chance to gaze upon this little known fashion landscape.  Well, that is until the ESPYS rolled into town and suddenly… BAM! Athletic Fashion was (1) an actual “thing” and (2) was staring us straight in the face… and not blinking!

Fame?  Check.  Gargantuan amounts of money and powerful connections? Check, check!  A great sense of style and understanding of fashion? Well… hmmm.  The 2015 ESPY Awards were held last month to celebrate and recognize the achievements of all kinds of athletes by giving out some sort of statue thingy.  But let’s be honest here bow ties, this awards show is really about checking out which sports A-lister has the best fashion and… uh… yea.  After wondering for months and months on end (not really) about what athletes would look like out of their uniforms, I for one (and I think you’ll agree with me) must say… PUT THE UNIFORMS BACK ON!!! Seriously.  What in the fashion foolery?!? If my memory serves me correctly, there was a superhero costume of some sort and apparently many athletes viewed the ESPYS as some sort of business meeting… like in a boardroom.  Where’s the fashion?  Where’s the style?  Actually, where were the stylists?  Really.  And most importantly, where was the tailoring bow ties? Now, every bow tie needs a tailor, but this is especially true for athletes as it won’t be easy to fit  a 6’8″ frame that’s 250lbs of solid muscle into an “off-the-rack” suit… and now thanks to the ESPYS, we have proof of that! Yes, a sports superstars new BFF is a tailor. Find one immediately!

Now wait, wait.  Hold up.  Some (and I stress some) of these athletes did manage to look, dare I say, good. Dapper even! So which athletes made the fashion plays and which ended up making a fashion faux pas more embarrassing than Mr. Gisele Bundchen’s deflated balls? It’s the 2015 ESPY Awards best dressed men pictures of what men were wearing below. Enjoy!

The Best…

First up is “We are NOT having SEX!!!!” aka Ciara and Russell Wilson. We are NOT having SEX look picture perfect in matching hues of my signature color. And I must admit that their matchy-matchy ensemble do read a bit “prom” to me… well, that is if your prom’s dress code requires ultra-expensive and  flawless designer clothes!

2015 ESPY Awards - Mr. Russell Wilson (and Ciara)

From the ankle up, Mr. D-Wade is the epitome of classic and sophisticated dapperness. But from the ankle down, it’s a hot mess! Ha! However, the upper half is so suave, I may just be able to ignore the catastrophe on his feet… maybe.

2015 ESPY Awards - Mr. Dwyane Wade

Mr. Aaron Rodgers is making even the hardest cheese heads melt with this well tailored slate blue suit and complimentary kicks. Gentlemen take note, this is how you style sneakers with a suit! Mr. Rodgers also scores a 2 point conversion for paying attention to detail with his sophisticated lapel pin.

2015 ESPY Awards - Mr. Aaron Rodgers

Mr. LeBron James continues his winning fashion streak in this sleek and tailored black velvet dinner jacket and smart bow tie. Now if only he could translate his fashion success into another (and first for the Cavs) NBA Championship… he’s got the style for it… at least.

2015 ESPY Awards - LeBron James

He may have won MVP for the 2015 NBA season, but that is totally not important. What is? Winning my MFP (Most Fashionable Player) a much more inspiring and prestigious awards. Yes, its true. It’s what all the kids are looking up to and striving for these days… smart!

LOS ANGELES, CA - JULY 15: NBA player Stephen Curry speaks onstage during The 2015 ESPYS at Microsoft Theater on July 15, 2015 in Los Angeles, California. (Photo by Kevin Winter/Getty Images) ORG XMIT: 564805065 ORIG FILE ID: 480833778

2015 ESPY Awards - Mr. Stephen Curry 02

Ex-bachelor and former quarterback (backup) Mr. Jesse Palmer is looking rather refined and elegant in a simple but classic black tux complete with my signature bow tie. Looks like somebody found out what a stylist is…

2015 ESPY Awards - Mr. Jesse Palmer

Mr. Jake Gyllenhaal trained hard to score this fashion touchdown. Training and practice… makes perfect!

2015 ESPY Awards - Jake Gyllenhaal

Sooo… this is what hockey players look like outside of those big, baggy uniforms. A+ Mr. Tyler Seguin!

2015 ESPY Awards - Mr. Tyler Seguin

Mr. Joel McHale rocks the “perfect shade of blue” suit for this athlete awards show!

2015 ESPY Awards - Mr. Joel McHale

Mr. Jenner wasn’t the only member from the Jenner/KKK clan to show up to awards show and more importantly, support Caitlyn… and look fab while doing so.

2015 ESPY Awards - Mr. Brody Jenner

NBA Player, Mr. Justice Winslow

2015 ESPY Awards - Mr. Justice Winslow

Mr. Jimmy Butler

2015 ESPY Awards - Mr. Jimmy Butler

Mr. Derek Jeter (also in blue) sizzles on stage and wins for wearing the  perfect attire to accept an award!

2015 ESPY Awards - Mr. Derek Jeter

Mr. Kevin Love or “K-Love” as his close friends call him (I should know because I’m one of them!), is long, lean, sleek and pristine in this nicely tailored tuxedo. And that’s no easy feat given that he’s 6ft 10in and 243lbs!

2015 ESPY Awards - Mr. Kevin Love

Mr. Affleck may be going through a very public… uh, let’s say “situation” with Ms. Garner, but it didn’t stop him from looking superb (if not a little bit hefty) at the awards show… wedding ring, nanny rumors and all!

CAITLYN JENNER GALARDONADA POR SU CORAJE EN LOS PREMIOS ESPY

Mr. Rodriguez was this close to ending up in the category below, but I have to admit, the man has enough swagger to take his simple black suit from office wear to red carpet ready luxury. Not easy bow ties.

2015 ESPY Awards - Mr. Alex Rodriguez

Business attire The rest: The Good.  The Bad.  And…

Mr. Brett Farve is arguably one of the most decorated football players of our time. I mean, he’s got stats for daaaaayyysss…. and that’s no surprise given that he played until he was 85!

2015 ESPY Awards - Mr. Brett Farve

Memo to Mr. Peyton Manning: You don’t always have to incorporate/wear your team colors to the ESPYS… really. Mmmm…hmmm… I didn’t forget about this…

2015 ESPY Awards - Mr. Peyton Manning

*Sigh* Takes deep, long breath… Mr. Rob Gronkowski…??????????????. What. Is. This. Mr. Gronkowski or “Gronk” as his close friends refer to him as (and again, I’m one of these close friends) looks boardroom ready in this gray/bland boring ensemble (all that’s missing is a briefcase and a graph of a data table  on posters). With a personality as big as his, I expected way more pizzazz, spunk and awesomeness from the great Gronk. And how do you have a body like this (click it..NSFWish), and then cover it up in this suit that’s doing your body a grave and massive disservice. It’s not horrible, but not great either. Listen, you’re only gonna be in your 20’s with a body of Greek God for a limited time, show it off while you still can.

2015 ESPY Awards - Mr. Rob Gronkowski

Soccer star Mr. A.J. DeLaGarza…

2015 ESPY Awards. Mr. A.J. DeLaGarza

Football player, Mr. Todd Herremans…

2015 ESPY Awards - Mr. Todd Herremans

NFL player, Mr. Taylor Lewan…2015 ESPY Awards - Mr. Taylor- Lewan

Mr. Malcom Butler, a new truck from Mr. Brady and a pretty suave lookin’ suit!

2015 ESPY Awards - Mr. Malcolm Butler

Mr. Johnathan Banks, is banking on this blue hued suit. And it’s a touchdown!

2015 ESPY Awards - Mr. Johnthan Banks

Football player, Mr. Andrew East

2015 ESPY Awards - Mr. Andrew East

NFL player, Mr. John Moffitt has a killer smile, but is the same true for his suit?

2015 ESPY Awards - Mr. John Moffitt

Mr. J.J. Watt… love the shoes. What do we think about the whole ensemble?

2015 ESPY Awards - Mr. J.J. Watt

NFL player, Brandon LaFell

2015 ESPY Awards - Mr. Brandon LaFell

I would say something, but these two guys look pretty intimidating… no? Mr. Senquez Golson and Mr. Bo Wallace. What do we think bow ties?

2015 ESPY Awards - Mr. Senquez Golson Mr. BoWallace

And finally, Mr. Odell Beckham Jr.  Well, I must say, when you make one hell of a catch, it’s no surprise that your fashion has a big kick of flair attached to it. What do we think bow ties?

2015 ESPY Awards - Mr. Odell Beckham Jr

(images: Chris Pizzello/Invision/AP, Getty, Jason Merrit/Getty Images, Kevin Winter/Getty Images, internet)

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What do you think? Love my choices? Hate them? If you have a butthole then you have an opinion…and now would be a good time to share it! Comment below (but please be respectful).